Author: LDS Publisher

Just a reminder that I am still willing to review and comment on query letters and opening paragraphs. Send them in the body of an e-mail. I will post, critique and comment on them.

*Yes, this is a rip-off of Miss Snark’s idea, but I just can’t bring myself to use her word for it. It is so indelicate.

Also, unlike Miss Snark, my Critique-O-Meter is always open.

I wonder how a publisher can know whether or not a book will sell and how well it will sell. I know that books can badly under sell or wildly exceed expectations. How can anyone know one way or the other? Is it just based on experience with similar novels? How do you predict what the market will do?

I pulled this from the comments trail because it’s a really good question.

The short answer is, we don’t know. We don’t have a publishing Liahona which tells us which manuscripts will sell. It’s all a big guess.

The longer answer is, it’s a guess based upon experience and gut feeling.

If we’ve published this genre or author in the past, that gives us some information. How well did the last one sell? Did we sell out? Did we reprint? How many do we have left in the warehouse?

What is the market doing? What are our collegues grumbling about? Did the publisher two booths down at the convention last month offer an 80% discount on books in this genre? That’s a sign they’re not selling well. But then you have to ask, is the genre slowing down–or are their books junk?

There are so many variables, it’s impossible to control for all of them and accurately predict what will and what won’t sell. So we have to go by how well we–our staff and our “paid” readers–like the book and how much money is in the bank account and how lucky we feel that day.

I know this sounds glib, but that’s the nature of the business. As publisher, you believe you have the ability to determine with a reasonable degree of accuracy what your readers will like. You make your best guess. If you’re good at guessing, and you’re right more than you’re wrong, you stay in business. If you’re not good at guessing, you go out of business and find employment elsewhere.

If a company has been publishing for several years, it means they guess right more often than they guess wrong. It means they’ve found something, be it a gut feeling or a Magic 8 Ball, that works for them and they’re not likely to adjust that decision making process until the market forces them to do so.

Today I was working on a P&L for a new book, to determine whether to accept it or not. Did you know that we have to do that for every book that makes it through the first read? If the P&L doesn’t come out right, I can’t accept a title even if I LOVE it.

Here’s a brief description of how the P&L works:

First I have to estimate production costs, which include editing, typesetting, design, custom artwork, printing, galleys, marketing covers, promos (business cards, bookmarks, postcards, posters, etc.), advertising and a launch party or book signing tour.

Then I guess how many books I can sell and how fast I can sell them. I come up with an initial print run amount minus comp copies used for marketing. I take that number and times it by the wholesale price of the book. From that amount, I subtract the author’s royalty and/or advance and the production costs to get my profit.

I figure profit based on selling all the books, 80% of the books and 60% of the books. Then I look at the 60% number and determine if I can survive if that’s all I sell.

Theoretically, if I publish a book a month, and I can sell 60% of the print run in a year, and that number will cover one month of my company’s overhead, plus a little, then I can take the risk and publish the book.

Larger companies that are publishing 10+ books a month can handle a little more risk; their faster sellers will offset the slower sellers. Smaller companies that publish less than a book a month cannot afford as much risk. They have to be fairly certain that every book they publish is going to sell, and sell enough to cover several months of overhead–unless they’re independently wealthy and publishing is a hobby and not their personal bread and butter.

So if you get a rejection that says something along the lines of “We LOVED your book, but…,” chances are it didn’t make it past the P&L analysis.

A few more words on contract rights. This may or may not be spelled out in your contract, but the publisher has ALL editing and design rights.

Editing Rights–Your publisher can and will edit your text. Most of the time, these edits won’t be huge. They don’t have time to do that. If they want big edits, they’ll tell you to do it. However, they will shorten sentences, cut paragraphs, and swap out words if they feel they need to do so. You may ask to have final approval on these edits. You may or may not get it.

Design Rights–This refers to cover design and page layout. You have no say in that. They choose the font, the layout, the margin widths, etc. They will hire their own artists to create the cover. You have no say in that either.

Most of the time, what the publisher does is going to increase the marketability of your book. Unless you are a professional graphic artist, they are going to have more experience in creating things that will attract the buyer. Trust them.

If they make a huge mistake and you can point out a legitimate marketing reason for changing the cover (for example, your main character is 45, but is portrayed as a 20 year old on the cover), they might listen to you and make changes. Or they might not. There’s not a lot you can do about it.

If you have really strong opinions on editing and design, and this is a deal breaker for you, you may be able to have final approval to both added to your contract. Just know, that this may also be a deal breaker for the publisher too.

Hi LDSPublisher,

After a publisher has had a manuscript for a long period of time, what is the best way to check on the status of the manuscript? Is it acceptable to email the publisher if an email address is available? Is it best to send a letter by snail mail? Or, is it best to call and ask about the status?

Thank you.

Do whichever it says in their submission guidelines.

If their submission guidelines do not address when and how to contact them after your manuscript has been submitted, then I would use e-mail if an address is available. That gives them the ability to respond at their convenience.

Second choice is a note, but include your e-mail address so that they may respond to you quickly, easily and at no cost to them.

Last choice is a phone call. I don’t like it when someone calls to check up on a manuscript that I’ve had for a “long period of time” because I’m already feeling guilty that I’ve made them wait. Most often, the reason I’m late is because I’ve been unusually busy. Then if they call when I’m already out of my mind with overworkedness, I’m distracted, I get flustered and I can’t find their manuscript in my pile of stuff, and … Avoiding this real-time conversation is the reason e-mail was invented, wasn’t it?

In one of your critiques, you mentioned Chick Lit. Can you talk a little more about this? Are there any LDS authors doing this type of fiction? Is it currently selling?

Chick lit refers to books specifically written for women, generally dealing with a twenty- or thirty-something woman who is trying to find her place in the world. Sometimes there’s a traumatic event triggering the response that creates the story (as in paragraph 20), but more often they are light-hearted, often first person, with a sort of sassy, humorous or conversational tone (as in paragraph 19). Some definitions consider it to be a romance sub-genre; others broaden it to include books where romance is the secondary plot line.

Kristen Nelson is a national literary agent who represents chick lit. (This links to her chick lit titles.) You can get a good sense of this genre just by reading the titles and looking at the covers of her books.

On the national market, chick lit often includes scenes and themes that might be considered–uhmmm, how do I say this politely–uncomfortably provocative for LDS readers. In many publishing houses, this sensuality is part of the definition of chick lit. Obviously, that wouldn’t be the case in the LDS market.

On the national market, this genre is declining somewhat. Publishers aren’t accepting as much of it, probably due to a glut on the market. But I would expect it to continue as a recognized genre for quite some time.

As for the LDS market, I think there’s a place for women’s novels that use a breezy, fun chick lit tone. I don’t read a lot in this area, so I can’t give a definitive answer as to who might already be writing in that genre. Although I haven’t read them yet, just based on their descriptions and what I’ve heard people say about them, Josie Kilpack’s Tempest Tossed and some of Rachel Nunes’ novels might fall into this category.

Readers, can you give us some examples of LDS chick lit?

This is National Be Kind to Editors and Writers Month. I am not kidding. I’m just ticked that I didn’t know about it on day one, because I would have milked this for all it’s worth. Tomorrow morning I’m going to show up at work and if there aren’t flowers and a huge box of chocolates on my desk, someone is going to get an earful!

(Okay, I don’t really expect flowers and chocolates. And I won’t even be working in the office tomorrow. But it would be nice to hear from some of my authors this month, thanking me for the hard work I’ve done/am doing in their behalf. It’s always nice to be appreciated.)

(That was a thinly veiled hint for all you published authors out there to send a card or e-mail to your editor! Doesn’t have to be a big deal. This is one of those things where the sentiment is more important than the delivery.)

But back to my topic. Although in most cases I think these national days, weeks and months are rather silly, they do provide marketing hooks for your books. If you are a published author—or about to be published—or even wanting to be published, check out the various national celebrations. Which ones would provide a marketing hook for your message?

For example, if you have a non-fiction self-improvement book, September is Self-Improvement Month. If you have a parenting book, October is Commune with Your Kid Month.

Does your murder mystery have someone dying from licking poisonous stamps? January is National Stamp Collector’s Month. Is your main character an eccentric little old lady who likes to snoop on her neighbors and wears garishly decorated straw hats? April is Straw Hat Month.

Okay, some of these are lame. But you get the idea.

Assignment for today: Google national celebrations. (I’m not providing links because I want you to hone your research skills.) Find three national celebrations that you could use as an excuse to showcase your book and post them in the comments trail. Then let your publisher know. Or if you’re still submitting and the publisher asks for marketing ideas, well, here you go.

BTW, does anyone know when the National Post Trivia on Your Blog Site Day is?

All contest paragraphs now have my comments and critiques posted.

I’m starting the paragraph critiques. I will not be doing rewrites. The comments I make are what I’d put in the margin notes if I received this as a submission. I will be frank and pull no punches. I will also tell you if I would ask for more, based upon this paragraph submission. My intent is to show you where you need to strengthen your writing so that it’s ready for publication. In my opinion.

To get to some of the earlier submissions, click on the September archive link and it will show them all.

Something went berserk in my Excel file where I was tracking who was attached to each paragraph. (It happened this morning, long after I posted winners.)

I no longer have a list telling me who wrote which paragraph. So if you want to claim your own, post your name in the comments trail and I will move it up into the body of your paragraph post.

Sorry.

Dear LDSP,

Are those paragraph rewrites in the comments trail from you? If so, why did you post them anonymously?

No. Those are not me. I’ve received permission from most of the contest submitters to do a critique of their paragraph and I will be doing that over the next several days. My critiques will be posted within and at the end of the actual paragraphs, not in the comments trail. And they will be in red.

I cut this from the comments trail and posted it here because it’s the perfect set-up for a teaching moment. This is a great example of why good writing sometimes gets rejected.

The poetry in this paragraph is excellent, however it lessens the effect the story could have. And keeping the identity of “the man” from the reader until the end of the paragraph has the effect of annoying the reader rather than drawing the reader into intrigue and mystery of the scene. …

The poetry in this paragraph …are all very fine descriptive details, but they have the effect of notifying the reader that the author is hard at work selecting poetic verse to add emotion to the scene. However, Eli Slater would never select those words if he were telling this story…we never get to see this scene through Eli’s eyes.

…in addition to the poetic verse removing the character from the scene and repalcing him with the author, it also has the effect of weakening the impact of the scene through repeition. A single
metaphor or a poetic word choice discretely placed among the forward thrust of the story may not weaken the lines too much, but more than once and the author becomes the viewpoint character….

…Edit out all of the poetry and replace it with thoughts and descriptions that Eli would see and feel. Then Eli gets to tell us the story from his point of view without so much author instrusion. Something like:

Eli Slater clung to the top of a telegraph pole with one hand and held the pocket key with the other. The icy wind cut through his officer’s coach like a dagger between his shoulder blades, but there was no one to stop him from sending the message. None of the other officers dared venture out into cold night. He tapped out LINCOLN IN ROUTE and it was done. The eight assassins were on their way and there was no one to warn the president. He reached for the wire cutters in his pocket. At least no one from this part of the growing confederacy. Eli cut the wire.

Here we have two different treatments (blue above and original) of the same story. Neither is “wrong.” Which has a better chance of being accepted for publication? It depends on which editor/publisher is reading it.

Personally, I like the original better. It has a depth and richness that I love to read. I wasn’t distracted by the language, or by not knowin the characters identity. For me, it added suspense and an intense desire to read more. When I get a submission with writing like this, it gets read all the way through–regardless of whether I’m looking for that genre or not.

If I got the blue paragraph, I would read until I determined if it was something that would fit with my product line. I might read it all the way through, or I might not, depending on the rest of the story.

But here’s the teaching moment: My colleague over at XYZ Publishing hates flowery exposition. They want fast and to the point. At their house, the blue paragraph would have the advantage.

The trick is matching your writing style with a publishing house that will appreciate it.

How do you know what style an editor/publisher prefers? Look at what they’ve published in the past. Read the acknowledgments in a book that is similar in writing style to yours. If they list an editor by name, that’s who you want to address your manuscript to.

I was so pleased with the number of entries in this contest and with the interest level that they all piqued, both in myself and in the voters. There were quite a few paragraphs that I’d be interested in reading more of. My thanks to everyone who was brave enough to enter this contest. Bravo!

After days of conflicting thoughts and feelings, I settled on the three for which I would definitely request to see a full manuscript. But then it got really hard. First place and the two runners-up were so close that I went round and round with all three of them, trying to decide which one should be in which place. However, I finally settled on the which and why.

Therefore (drum roll please)

First Place: T. Lynn with Paragraph #13

This paragraph has such a strong sense of place. I don’t think anyone has done a better job of putting me into a scene so quickly. I am right there up on that pole with Slater. I know exactly where I am in history. The foreshadowing of the fury and the cold and the evil of the war is clear in the choice of descriptors. The only thing I can find to critique is this sentence: If Abraham Lincoln lived or died tonight, he wouldn’t hear about it over these lines. It’s a little awkward, but not so much that it popped me out of the scene. If T. Lynn can do dialogue and plot as well as she does the imagery in this paragraph, then this is a book I want to read. If I received this as part of a query, would I ask for a partial? No. I’d ask for the whole thing! Now, please.

First Runner-Up: Jeff Savage with Paragraph #22

Another really great sense of place, where I was right there with Kinion—holding my breath the whole time. I liked the counting down of the minutes. It added to the tension. So why did this get first runner up? Because I’m not certain what genre it is. I’m thinking it’s not a straightforward historical fiction. So either great latitude is being taken with history; or it’s an entirely different story with an entirely different set of gold plates and our LDS antennae are being toyed with; or we’re going to see a parallel history, similar to what Orson Scott Card did in the Alvin Maker series. Whichever, I’d like to read the rest.

Second Runner Up: W.L. Elliott with Paragraph #14
I loved this! We are right there with those flying ponies. That’s a cute idea. The dragon as guard dog has been done before, but this one has a unique humor to it. This paragraph was neck and neck for first runner-up. It barely missed because it really should be three paragraphs—but I’m glad she sacrificed her shot at first place and gave us the extra info. This is another one where I’d ask to see the whole manuscript based on just this much.

First Place:
Suzanne Reese
with Paragraph #20 (8 votes)

Runners-Up: (5 votes each)
Melanie Goldmund
with Paragraph #3

and

Anonymous
with Paragraph #12

I’ve heard that some publishing companies hire people (paying them in books) to read manuscripts and give their opinions of the books. Is this true? If so, how do I get hired doing this?

Yes, many publishing companies do this. I’m not sure how you go about getting hired to do this. You can always call them up and ask, but I’m not sure if that will help much. This is probably one of those things where you have to know someone–or rather, they have to know you. In my company, these positions are offered by me, after I’ve known someone for awhile and we’ve discussed various books a lot, and I know that I can trust their assessment of a book.

If you really want to do this, but you don’t have the personal connections, you might offer to read a few on spec, so they can see if you’re a good match for their company.

Habits and/or Skills that would impress me:
Read a lot of books–I’m talking 80 to 100 per year, year after year; you need to be able to recognize current trends and when something has been done to death

Read in a lot of genres–know the various conventions used, needed, expected in each genre; be able to talk/write about them intelligently

Basic grammar/editing skills–you need to recognize when something is written properly and when it is not; whether it needs only light editing or heavy editing

Basic writing skills–you need to be able to recognize certain writing styles, techniques, and discuss them using correct terminology (ex: POV, etc.); you also need to be able to clearly express what worked in a book, and what didn’t, and why

Picky, picky, picky–If you read a lot of books, and you like most of them, you’re probably not discriminating enough. On the other hand, if you hate everything you read, that’s probably not going to work either.

Submissions are now closed for the Opening Paragraph Contest.

Voting is allowed until midnight (Mountain Time) on Monday, September 11, 2006.

1. Why are there still submissions with ZERO votes?
I don’t get that. You’re allowed (and expected by me, at least) to vote for your own paragraph. If you don’t believe in your work enough to vote for it, why should anyone else? I’m off to work for several hours now, but when I come back and check this afternoon, I expect to find at least one vote for every single submission.

And, have you told your friends and relatives to come here and vote? If you want honest feedback, you probably don’t want to tell your mother/spouse/children which one is yours. But at least send them to the site to vote!

(If you get published, you need to help spread the word and the buzz about your book. This will be good practice for you.)

2. May I post comments about your paragraph?
I had fully intended to post comments about what I thought you did well and where I thought you needed improvement–after the contest ended. When someone asked me if I would do that, I went back and checked my contest post and realized I had forgotten to mention that. Ooops.

So, if you want comments about your paragraph, you will need to e-mail me and give me permission to do that. Otherwise, since I didn’t warn you in advance, I will not give you a critique.

Also, a clarification: I will only post the names of the paragraph winners (unless you requested otherwise). If you would like public credit for your paragraph, even if you did not win the contest, let me know. I will not post your name unless you tell me I may do so.

Eight. Kinion counted the minutes silently. He knew he was in the right place. Knew to the second what was coming. Yet his heart pounded like a jacketed fist against the inside of his ribs. Seven. The icy wind danced and surged, slapping cold sheets of rain against his exposed face and neck. Six. A branch cracked in the darkness and he froze, scarcely breathing as the tall man appeared like a wrath through the trees. His height and broad shoulders were unmistakable Five. The man leaned, as if carrying a heavy weight, glanced about, and set a bundle on the damp ground. Four. It was impossible to see what was happening, but Kinion knew anyway. He’d scouted the log with the hidden compartment carved into it earlier in the day. Three. The man straightened, cocked his head, listening, and stepped back. Two. This was it, he was watching history, but soon he’d be making it. One. For a split second Kinion was sure the man had sensed his presence—it wouldn’t have surprised him in the least—but no, he checked the log one final time and disappeared into the night. Crouching low, Kenion scuttled through the woods, pulled back the bark cover and grabbed the sack. The gold plates were his.

See comments here.

Susan gripped the sides of the porcelain vanity sink and tried to control the terror raging inside her. She slowly counted as she breathed in through her nose, out through her mouth. After five counts, she slowly (slowly/slowly–lose one) looked forward to see herself in the mirror. She saw despair. Despair is something I can work with, she thought, but not terror. She gazed into her own hazel eyes, wanting to see something there to give her hope. (New paragraph) Finally, she put her cooled hands on her cheeks to leech the warmth that had blossomed there. (This part is strong. From here out, it gets weaker.)

She tried to remember what had brought the panic attack on. She had just stepped out of the shower, toweled dry and started to take care of her sandy blonde hair when she saw herself in the steamed mirror. She realized at that moment that she wasn’t getting ready for work, but for a date. (delete all this) This was her first one (date) since she had moved to this town six months ago. Then she downed a cocktail of self-doubt, self-pity and insecurity, which left her in a state ripe for panic. (needs transition) Had she known how the night would end, the horror would have utterly consumed her. (strong ending to this, but it needs a smoother transition)

Critique: The first description of her looking in the mirror is one of the few instances where that convention works. The rule is: never have your character look in a mirror as an excuse to describe their physical appearance. But this works–until you start actually describing her normal physical appearance.

Would I ask for more? Depends on the strength of query and synopsis. Based on this, probably not until after rewrites. But then I’d be willing to look at it again.

Paige sat as far away as possible from the driver of the spiffy (no–if she’s in that much trauma, she’d hardly reference the car as “spiffy”–and neither should the author. It minimizes what’s coming next.), new mustang she’d just spent a horrifying hour in. Both hands gripped the door handle in anticipation, and as the car approached her house, she opened the car door and watched the blur of gravel below her. As soon as the car slowed enough that she was reasonably sure she wouldn’t break her neck, she stumbled out of the prison. She scuffled to her front door, her quivering hands holding tight to her belly in an effort to keep the pain and nausea at bay. She picked up her pace when she heard footsteps behind her. The boy came up beside her and walked nonchalantly, as if this was just any normal date on any normal Saturday night. As if. (new paragraph) “I had a nice time,” he said, casually, rubbing his hands together. (new paragraph) Paige gasped and pushed hard on the door. She didn’t use the kind of language that comment deserved. He reached out and grabbed her arm. She stiffened, frozen with fear. (new paragraph) “Can I call you?” She yanked her arm out of his grasp, stepped inside, and slammed the door, wincing at the possibility that her parents might have heard.

Critique: Another one that made the first cut. It didn’t make the finals because I got mixed signals. My first thought is, she’s been raped. But then there was the confusing and trivializing first sentence (spiffy). Also lost points because it’s several paragraphs. This could be good, or it could be same old girl-recovers-from-trauma-all-men-are-scum book. I need to know more.

Would I ask for more? Yes. Depending on the query and synopsis, I’d probably ask for a full.

The glowing numbers on the clock proclaimed I had been awake for three hours now. Three hours that I had laid in bed (grammar), wishing sleep would come-willing to count every sheep in the shed if it would help. (cute end to sentence) Nada. Nothing. (new paragraph) I hated laying there staring at the ceiling and feeling guilty that I wasn’t asleep. Why guilty? Was there some law that said I had to be asleep at some predetermined time? I guess it was mostly because (passive voice) my mother had drilled that idea into my brain: if you weren’t sleeping during the night, you were up to no good. Along with that, I always knew I would feel tired in the morning and wish I had slept. But it never helped. At least it didn’t tonight. (new paragraph) I groaned and rolled over, burying my head under my pillow, trying to block out the numbers which seemed to imprint themselves on my closed eyelids. This latest bout of insomnia was due no doubt to the anxiety I felt over moving. It was my least favorite occupation –moving. Let alone the choice I had made this time. It was one thing to move from one apartment to another, but to move from one state to another was a whole different ball game.

Critique: Needs tightening. Too passive. Too meandering. Like the last paragraph, not being able to sleep and mother issues are both universal problems that could be built upon. But where are we going with this? What type of book is this? I’m not getting enough information yet.

Would I ask for more? No.

Note to everyone: These last two paragraphs are examples of good “chick-lit” ideas that haven’t taken off yet. They are first draft level writing that need a lot of work. But, they have potential because we can recognize ourselves in them. When you speak to feelings and issues that most of us have had, you have the beginnings of something that could have wide appeal. If you build in some uniqueness, let us into the speaker’s minds and hearts, then you might have something.

Home. The images that word invoked swirled through my mind, making me to stop and steady myself before continuing on. (grammar) It was just a glimpse of the house through the neighboring trees, standing as it had stood through the past forty years–withstanding (standing/withstanding–change one) snow and rain, heat and discord. (new paragraph) It had gone through a number of face lifts, the latest being a mixture of brick and stucco. I’m not sure I even care about the outward appearance, it had always just been a house to me. It was what happened inside that mattered—that always haunted me. Its siren voice called to me every Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter. It called to me during summer reunions and family get togethers, which were getting fewer and fewer with the years. It called to me even stronger now that I had purposefully avoided all of those activities for the past eight years. (delete these) (new paragraph) Eight long years that I had sought purpose and meaning to the life I had chosen. Only to find that it had been here all along. Here with my family and their unconditional love and open arms. At least, I hoped there were open arms. I wasn’t sure how they were going to feel about my showing up for Thanksgiving so unexpectedly. This unannounced visit–after ignoring all invitations for so long that they had become almost non-existent. But I hadn’t been able to pick up the phone. Every time I tried, my hand would freeze, hovering over it and I would end up pulling it back to gaze with fascinated dread at the machine.

Critique: This has some problems. Mostly structural. You meander too much. The idea of coming home again, dealing with the past, is universal–so that’s a good idea to write about. Need to tighten it up a lot. Get us out of her head and build up a little more sensory experiences.

Would I ask for more? Not at this point.

Victor looked with trepidation at the blood spot in the snow. He knew from the pain in his side that his crampons had stabbed him when he fell, but the blood confirmed what he already knew. (tighten the sentence) His instincts told him (how? why?) that he was in danger. (of what?) Getting off the mountain was vital (why?) but with the pain in his wrist (what’s wrong with his wrist?) and the blood, he felt he might not make it.(why not?) It had taken all his strength to get this far and he wondered where he could get more energy. He ate his last candy bar an hour ago and the energy boost was helpful (very weak ending)

Critique: Although you’ve shown us blood, you’ve told us everything else. It needs more punch, more sense of place. I need a reason to care about this guy–other than the generic “poor anonymous man is going to die…”. I am not emotionally tied to this guy.

Would I ask for more? No.