LDS Publisher

This is so dead-on MY LIFE that instead of writing a post today, I’m linking to this one.

Go read it please.

Your post about LDS picture books was quite enlightening [thank you] (especially about the cost to the publisher). I have LDS picture books I purchased from years ago and the spines are barely cracked–the stories were a huge disappointment. (The only one I ever bought that was well-written was MY TURN ON EARTH.)

But there’s more to children’s lit than picture books. What about the market for middle grade and YA fiction? What’s your perspective on
that? Do you see improvement? What’s needed to make it better?

There are LDS romance/suspense authors whose books have sold in six-figure amounts. Still, it seems like the only successful books are the ones like the Foo series, which is not really LDS fiction and is published by an imprint of Deseret. Since it’s not seen as LDS-themed, it seems to be doing well in the national market (Simon and
Schuster bought the paperback rights not long ago).

Good, good thread. I’m learning a lot!

This blog has taken me over an hour to write because you’ve unwittingly hit upon one of my soapboxes. I’ve deleted 4 pages of rant and here’s what you get:

My perspective on the LDS market for middle grade and YA fiction is that it stinks right now. While there is a huge need and demand for books at those age levels, there are not enough high quality submissions coming in to meet that demand.

Because it is more difficult to sell to this age group, snooty publishers, like myself, are refusing to accept submissions that don’t meet our high and lofty standards. Other publishers are taking mediocre manuscripts and hyping them up, which leaves many readers disappointed and less likely to buy again.

Yes, there are some shining examples out there now (Wiles, Dashner, Blair, to name a few), and yes, we are seeing a gradual improvement. But it’s not happening fast enough to suit me. I want more, MORE, MORE!! Quit reading this blog and go write some, now!

Seriously, I really would like to encourage any writers who are so inclined to write for this market. Books can make such an impression on young minds. We need a host of titles to compete with what’s out there nationally. When you look at what our kids are being exposed to, it just breaks my heart. They are reading books that are really funny, entertaining, thought provoking and well-written, but then they sneak immorality in through the back door. We so need to balance that with really funny, entertaining, thought provoking and well-written books that are CLEAN and that support our values.

If I were independently wealthy or had some serious investors, I’d leave the company I’m with in a heartbeat and launch an all-out search for quality LDS children’s/YA lit to publish. [deep sigh] If you happen to have a few hundred thousand dollars lying around and would like to contribute to this cause, contact me via e-mail and we’ll talk.

P.S. Since you mentioned Foo [Leven Thumps & the Gateway to Foo], yes, I was excited to see it come out. I thought it was a definite step in the right direction. But book 1 had its problems. My fingers just itched to lay my red pencil to it. Foo was good, but it could have been great. I don’t think it would be selling as well as it is if it weren’t for Harry Potter readers wanting something to fill in the wait between books in that series. I bought book 2, but it didn’t grab me right away. I put it down before I finished chapter 1 and I haven’t gotten back to it.

Two more questions about LDS children’s lit:

As a writer who has ALSO sold artwork to magazines and private collectors, I want to thank you for your post. I’ve never submitted illustrations for a potential book and have just recently thought about combining my two talents. I found your information intriguing. [thank you] Do LDS publishers offer artist guidelines with such information as size, gutters, etc.? Is the demand for book art great enough in the LDS publishing world to have such guidelines?

I have not seen illustrator guidelines on any of the LDS publisher websites, but then, I’ve never really gone looking for them. I would expect you could find some general guidelines in the Children’s Writers and Illustrator’s Market or through an association like SCBWI . General guidelines will get you 95% of the way, and most of the time that’s close enough.

As for LDS illustrator guidelines, as long as people were dressed modestly and behaving appropriately, I don’t see that they’d differ much from anywhere else.

Hi there LDS Publisher!

Since you posted a question about children’s publishing, here’s another one for your comment:

What’s your take on the market for LDS-themed children’s books? Do you think there’s potential there that’s not being met (as in there could be more and/or better offerings)? Or, considering that the biggest share of the LDS market is focused on romance/suspense, do you think most writers prefer to write where the money is since authors can make more money writing for the majority of buyers (which are women)?

Thanks a bunch—and I enjoy reading your blog! [thank you]

First, I must qualify my answer to these questions:

1. My professional specialty is not picture books, so I’m not on top of that market.

2. I have a huge collection of picture books, very few are LDS. I bought most of them when my children were younger and there just weren’t that many good LDS picture books out there then. I’ve bought some in the past few years and the quality of the story and the artwork are getting better, but I just haven’t seen any that I absolutely go bananas over. (Admittedly, I have not looked at a lot of what’s out there now, so I may have missed a trend.)

I would like to see more LDS themed picture books that are well-written and well-illustrated. In the history of my motherhood, I have rarely purchased LDS picture books because either the story is too heavy handed (think “morality tales”) or too sappy, or the illustrations were just not appealing to my eye. There are very few LDS picture books out there that are “equally yoked” in story line and illustration. Rachel Nunes’ two picture books come close, but I thought the illustrations were stronger than the story.

Given that, yes, I think there is a huge potential there that is not currently being met. I wanted LDS picture books when my kids were young, and I couldn’t find them. I have family and friends with young children now who have complained to me that they can’t find enough LDS picture books that they like. So, I think the market is there. The question is, is the market big enough?

Children’s picture books in a small niche market (like LDS) are high risk for a publisher. Because they’re full-color throughout and hardback, they are very expensive. Some companies just don’t want to take the risk. But if the right combination of story and illustrations were to show up in my slush pile, I’d think about it long and hard.

And yes, the majority of LDS book buyers are women and yes, they want romance. But most of these women also have children in their lives (their own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews…), so I think if some high quality LDS picture books showed up on bookstore shelves, these women would buy them.

[If your calendar says it’s still Monday, then don’t read this! It’s Tuesday’s post. I will be in meetings and away from my computer all day tomorrow. I’m putting you on the honor system to come back tomorrow and read this one! 🙂 ]

Hello, LDS Publisher!
I have a question for you, since you’re running a little low.

I have a friend who has written a childrens story in poetry form, and it is awesome. I have a fabulous idea for illustrating it – and I think (hope desperately) that she would let me submit it as a complete work.

I hear, though, that authors and illustrators don’t get to choose each other. If this book was submitted as text and illustration together, what are the chances it would stay that way?

Thanks, by the way, for answering questions like these! (You’re very welcome.)

For a picture book, the illustrations are just as important (honestly, more so) than the story line. I’ve seen great stories with illustrations that killed the book. No one would even pick them up to read them because the illustrations were really bad or simply boring. On the flip side, there are picture books with mediocre stories that sell well because the illustrations are so delightful.

Because illustrations are so crucial to the book’s sales, publishers choose them. Just as an author has little to no control over the title, layout or cover design of their book, they rarely have control over the illustrator. They may have input, but that’s generally the best they can hope for–unless they are illustrators themselves and do the work for their own book. But even then, that’s a risk. I’ve had submissions where the author insisted that they illustrate their own work and I’ve rejected them because although the story was good, the illustrations were really bad.

Of course, there are exceptions to the “publisher chooses the illustrator” rule. You have Don and Audrey Wood who write and illustrate together. Sonja (mother) and Paul (son) Linsley are an LDS picture book team that work well together (but I believe the Linsley’s are self-publishers, so that puts them in a different category).

Although the chances are not good that a publisher would keep your illustrations with your friend’s story, you can try and see what happens.

Here are a few suggestions for increasing your chances:

1. If you are a professional illustrator and have past experience illustrating picture books, or creating art work for book covers, have your friend briefly mention this in her query and include a website where the publisher can see samples.

2. I don’t know anyone who has rejected a picture book because someone included illustrations. I do know plenty who have accepted the book and rejected the illustrations. But since there might be someone who would fly into an irrational rage if illustrations were included, read submission guidelines on the publisher’s website. If they say absolutely, positively do not submit illustrations, then don’t do it. However, if they don’t say anything about it, take a chance and send the first two illustrations–1 color, 1 black & white. (Send copies, not the originals.)

3. Do not submit any more than the first two illustrations without an offer from the publisher. It would be a waste of time and effort and might lead the publisher to think it was an all or nothing submission.

4. Have your friend make it clear in her query that she is submitting the story and that your enclosed illustrations are simply samples of what she could get if the publisher would like her to find an illustrator.

5. There is always the slim possibility that the publisher will like your illustrations and hire you to do something else, even if they don’t want to use your work for your friend’s book. I’ve done that before.

Bottom line: If your friend is agreeable, take a chance and see what happens, but don’t get your hopes up.

I have a writer friend who says he plans to start hiding $20 bills in his manuscripts as a test to see if the editor is really reading it. He’s going to note exactly what page he tucked that bill into and if it hasn’t moved when the manuscript returns, he will know it wasn’t even read. What do you think about that?

He may call it a test, I call it a bribe–and it is a silly idea on so many levels.

1. Ethical editors will not accept money like this. So if he gets his manuscript back with the money removed, all he’s done is found someone he shouldn’t do business with. If I were to get a submission with a $20 tucked between the pages, it would stay right there exactly as I found it. I’d also stop reading when I found it and reject the manuscript. I refuse to work with someone who a) doesn’t trust me; and b) thinks this is appropriate and professional behavior.

2. Most rejected manuscripts DON”T get read all the way through. Many, many times I can tell within the first couple of pages that it’s not what I’m looking for. Why would I bother to read any more? I am looking for manuscripts to publish. I am not a free reading service.

3. Assuming I do read all or even most of the manuscript, does your friend think it stays all nice and neat in the box or envelope as I read it? No. I grab a chunk of papers and take it with me–to the doctor, parent-teacher conferences, running errands, etc. A $20 bill could easily fall out without my even noticing it.

4. He better make sure he includes a SASE for the return manuscript. If he doesn’t, and I don’t read far enough to find the money, the manuscript goes into the trash bin–$20 and all.

5. Has he never heard of things getting lost in the mail? Packages getting damaged and opened?

Tell your friend that his $20 would be far better spent on a subscription to Writers Digest magazine.

About a year ago I submitted a manuscript to a publisher who seemed very excited about it. They assigned me some rewrites and we agreed I’d work on them for the next 6 months or so and then resubmit the changes this fall. But when I contacted them about resubmitting, suddenly they’re not so excited anymore. If fact, I think I was just politely told, “Thanks, but no thanks.”

I don’t understand what happened? If it was timing, why didn’t they tell me they wanted it sooner? Now what do I do with this manuscript?

So many things can happen in six months. Maybe the market changed and sales for books that are similar to yours dropped. Maybe their competition published something that was just too similar to it. Maybe the person who was really behind your book left the company and the person replacing them is just lukewarm. Maybe there’s someone new in the budgeting department and they’ve decided the numbers aren’t right.

All of these things are out of your control–and you will probably never know which of these reasons apply to your situation. But one thing you do know: at some point, an editor or publisher really liked your work. That’s the silver lining. So take a deep breath. Do your best imitation of Doris Day singing, “Que sera, sera.” Then move on.

What do you do with your manuscript? Send it to another publisher.

Comments only counted as a vote if they specifically stated a variation of “I vote for this one.” Nice chatty comments without a clear vote indication did not count.

We have a two-way tie between
Entry #1 submitted by Ghost Writer
and
Entry #3 submitted by FHL.

If Ghost Writer and FHL want to identify themselves, feel free to do so–either in the comments trail, or let me know via e-mail the name you want posted and I’ll update the posts.

After reading a comment from FHL, I’ve googled everything I can think of to find a page-a-day writing prompt calendar. I’ve come up empty handed. Hmmm…maybe I should publish one.

Let me know if anyone finds one. E-mail the URL address to me and I’ll post it for everyone.

UPDATE TO THIS POST:
I was talking to a colleague about this. We both think it’s an incredibly good idea. So FHL, and others, if someone were to create a writing prompt calendar with a prompt a day, which format would you prefer:

1. Traditional hang on the wall, month at a glance calendar, with a new prompt in each square. (There would be no room for writing appointments.)

2. A table top one day at a time calendar, like the vocabulary building ones (click on the “click for other item views” link under the image; then click on “Back Cover Image”)

3. A day planner type bound calendar, with a writing prompt at the top instead of a quote.

How much are novel submissions censored to fit LDS “standards”? Do most publishers censor similar to Church magazines or are they more open to situations outside traditional LDS values?

Depends on the publishing company. Some are very circumspect in the topics and treatments that they will consider for publication. Others, though few in number, are willing to take on non-traditional treatments. You can easily tell which is which by a quick browse of their website or reading a few of the books they’ve previously published.

Also, for most LDS publishers, it’s not so much a case of censoring what doesn’t fit LDS standards, as promoting and selecting items which do fit those standards. I know that’s a small distinction to those attempting to sell manuscripts which explore things outside the LDS box, but it’s a distinction that is important to me.

I only received 4 submissions and they are all posted. Since there are so few, only vote once.

To vote, type “I vote for this one” in the comments trail. You can elaborate on why you liked it if you want.

Q: Where does Jack Sparrow go for Halloween?

A: To the Scaribbean!

Wow, that was easy to keep under 500 words! =)

What am I doing here, alone in a corn maze?

I came with a couple of old friends who are trying to cheer me up. I’ve been in a dark mood for the past couple of weeks, since my girlfriend was killed. I thought that coming out here might lift my spirits.

It isn’t working. Personally, I blame Devin, the new friend Chris and Sean had started hanging out with recently. I couldn’t say exactly why, but there was something about him that made me uneasy. They brought him along on this trip and, instead of walking with me, the three of them are out lurking in the shadows trying to scare other corn walkers. Alone, I start thinking about the past.

Katie and her roommate were on their way home from the grocery store. No one knows why they pulled off the road on that stretch of deserted highway. Their bodies were found a short ways into the neighboring woods. Identification would have been difficult, if not for the car. The few details from Katie’s family suggested the girls had been ravaged by bears, but they sounded skeptical. The Sheriff’s Office continued to investigate, but hadn’t come to any solid conclusions.

Looking around the cornfield, I wonder how far I could go without running into anyone else. And really, what would stop me from just picking a direction and going between the corn stalks until I emerge? I stare at the dark sky and wonder again why I’m here.

A short while later, Chris and Sean catch up to me and ask if I have seen Devin. Apparently, he had gone to retrieve something from the car and hadn’t returned. Getting no response from me, they race back into the corn forest.

After a bit, I think I hear a low growl in the darkness. I know my mind must be playing tricks. I strain to hear more. I hear crashing stalks from behind me and another, louder growl. I can feel my heartbeat thudding in my neck as it races in fear. For just a moment, I wonder if my friends are playing a cruel prank on me, but then I see a pair of glowing eyes, much too close.

My first thought is to run, but I can’t seem to break the connection with those menacing eyes. My mouth opens, but no sound comes out as if my breath decided to run when I didn’t. I close my eyes and will this apparition, caused by my dark thoughts and lost sleep, to vanish. After a moment, I squint at the ground in front of me and see a pair of shaggy feet and … blue jeans above them? I look up and see Devin, wearing contact lenses and holding a baseball bat. I angrily get up and lunge at him when he swings the bat at me! My last thought before blacking out is that there’s a realistic looking bear claw on the end of the bat…

The Ruthless Grave
by Melanie Goldmund

It was Halloween, and Jeannie was trying to get out of a grave. Not hers – she hoped it wouldn’t come to that – but the open grave she’d fallen into when she’d tried to take a shortcut across the old cemetary. She’d already tried to climb up, but it hadn’t worked, and she’d fallen back in. Now she spread her arms and legs to shimmy up the sides of the grave like she’d done with doorways when she was a kid. The grave, however, seemed wider than those doorways, and Jeannie could tell that middle-age and motherhood had taken its toll on her body. She put all her strength into one last effort, but finally had to drop back to the bottom.

“Blast it all,” she snarled, angry at her son, Kyle, who was responsible for Jeannie’s predicament. Just as dusk had fallen and the trick-or-treaters had started to come out, Jeannie had discovered that her stash of Halloween candy had been reduced to three empty bags.

“Oh, was that for Halloween?” Kyle had asked in mock innocence. “Ooops.”

To make things worse, Kyle had had to leave just then, and Jeannie hadn’t even had the chance to demand that he go to the store and replace what he’d eaten. Instead, with the rest of her family out at various places, she’d been forced to go herself.

At the store, the cashier had given her glow-in-the-dark mummy costume a double take, then grinned. “Thought you were my mother-in-law, come back to haunt me. She always insisted that I call her Mummy Dearest.”

Jeannie had still been in a good mood then, so she’d laughed at the pun. Now she wished she’d dressed up as Teddy from Arsenic and Old Lace, complete with shovel, so that she could dig her way to freedom. Resigned to using her fingers, she began to scratch out hand- and footholds.

She was still clawing at the first hole when there was a screech and a whump from behind her. Somebody else had fallen in! Straightening up, she turned around, but before she could speak, she heard a whisper of horror.

“Ruth?”

“Help me,” Jeannie started to say, but the person let out a scream that made the hair on the back of her neck stand up straight. The heavy breathing turned into panicked gasps, and there were scrabbling sounds as he literally went up the wall.

“Come back!” Jeannie shouted. “Don’t leave me here alone!”

But whoever it was had gone, and Jeannie was left to continue digging by herself.

The next evening, Jeannie read a story in the evening paper about a man who’d turned himself in to the police, asking for protection from his wife, whom he’d killed ten years before. He claimed that her ghost had lured him into an open grave and tried to drag him down to the underworld with her. Jeannie sat back with a shiver.

The man’s wife had been named Ruth.

Guilt. It consumed him.

He knew now he shouldn’t have done it but, at the time he wasn’t thinking.

Oh, some people would excuse his actions as a fit of passion but the fact was, he wanted to. He’d heard about people who’d done similar things. They showed it in movies and talked about it on the pages of books.He always wondered what it would be like. What it would feel like.

Now he knew exactly what it felt like.

It felt awful.

Worse, he knew his actions were even affecting his appearance. Some choices you just couldn’t hide, but he needed to try.

Carefully he washed his hands, then scoured the sink. That finished he moved through the rest of the house, cleaning up the evidence of his ‘fit’ before his wife and children returned home from trick-or-treating. He didn’t want them to find out. They’d be shocked, hurt, angered.

He could just imagine the looks on their faces.

How could he have done such a thing?

With his stomach in knots he gathered up the last of the proof and took it outside to the trash. Carefully he buried it beneath the dinner refuse.

Walking in the back door, he heard the front door open. Excited shouts filled the air. They were home early. Maybe, if he didn’t act different…

Forcing himself to face his family, he moved down the hall and past the bathroom. He turned to look at his disheveled reflection in the mirror and grant himself a moment of self-loathing. Then he saw, with horror, a hideous stain still on his face. Evidence! Frantic he darted to the sink, turned on the water and scrubbed at the tell-tale sign.

His wife appeared in the doorway. “Why did you turn off all the lights, dear? Trick-or-treaters won’t come if the house is dark.”

A princess bounded into the room, toting her crown and a bag of goodies. “We got so much candy, Daddy!” she exclaimed, and dumped it on the bathroom rug.

A vampire squeezed in next. “Yeah, it was great, Dad! We got JoJo Balls and Chocolate Bursts.” Dracula looked into his bag, taking inventory. “I even got six packages of Fruit Chews, some cinnamon gum and licorice sticks, only nobody had any Peanut Crunches.” His fangs and bloody makeup frowned, but only momentarily. With delight, he looked up at his father. “Where are our Peanut Crunches, Dad?”

The princess jumped up from her treasures. “Yeah! We bought three bags.”

Three bags? The number horrified him.

Had he really eaten all three bags?

Deep in his stomach, he felt the answer rumbling. He’d turned off the porch light, taken the entire bowl of Peanut Crunches to the living room, turned on a Halloween show and stayed there eating one after another until the bowl was filled with empty wrappers and chocolate and peanut crisps littered the couch and covered his fingers.

Candy. He’d consumed it all.

Time is running out to send something for the Halloween contest. I said I’d post the top 10, but I haven’t received 10 yet. So pretty much, if you send it, it gets posted.

This does not have to be a major composition. And the 500 word count is the MAX. Minimum word count: 2.

We’re not going for polish in this one. We’re having fun. So send me a joke, a story, an essay. Everything goes.

I get some pretty good comments about this blog–but I don’t always get them here. I get them in my e-mail. And it’s really too bad because sometimes other readers could benefit (and my ego certainly would also) from seeing the comment. Case in point, the comment left on yesterday’s blog by Rob Wells. Great link, great info.

When I get a comment in my e-mail, I will ask the sender if I can post them to the comments trail here. Frequently, I get no reply to that request.

I know it says in my blog info that I will repost e-mailed comments here anonymously, but I just don’t have time. So please, if you want to make a comment about the blog, please, please, please do it in the comments trail.

(P.S. I read every single comment posted here.)

I’m in high school. If I wanted to write a book someday, where would I start now?

1. Write something creative every day. This can be a journal, a blog, letters, stories, poems–anything, as long as you do it regularly and use your imagination.

2. Take any creative writing classes that your school or community offers. You may or may not learn how to write well there, but you will be “forced” to write creatively on a schedule. Also pay attention in your grammar and spelling lessons.

3. Read LOTS. While you read, pay attention to what works for you and what doesn’t work. Does the dialog sound corny? Why? How would you write it differently? Does a character really intrigue you? What about the way the character was described really captivated you? Take notes. Then practice those techniques.

4. Write, write, write–wherever you can. Join the newspaper staff or set small writing goals for yourself. At Writers Digest, they have a daily writing prompt. Do those. Practice writing in different styles and genres.

5. Build a support group. Don’t let anyone talk you out of writing. If your friends and family aren’t supportive, then stop sharing your writing with them. Find a network of other writers who will support you and cheer you on. I like latterday authors and I think there are a couple of teenagers who post on that.

6. At some point, look at getting published. Local papers will sometimes publish columns from a teen perspective. Submit to magazines for teens. Read blogs and forums and books that talk about how to publish.

Most importantly, if you love to write, WRITE! Don’t give up on your dream. And good luck.

This was sent for the contest, but I couldn’t wait to post it.

Okay, here’s a quick joke then:
Q: Where does Jack Sparrow go for Halloween?
A: To the Scaribbean!

Wow, that was easy to keep under 500 words! =)
FHL

I’m trying to decide what to be for Halloween. I was thinking Dead Publisher might be fun. White face, teased out hair with rotting leaves in it, broken horn-rimmed glasses, red pen behind the ear, elbow patched and moth-eaten sweater, a huge armful of papers and manuscripts…

No, too much like real life.

Some of you have asked for a description of my typical work day. I haven’t written about it because there isn’t one. Maybe that’s because I’m not a very well-organized person. Even though I’m highly attracted to the allure of structure and regimen, I rarely am able to live by it more than a few minutes.

But since I can’t think of anything to write about—and I currently have a dearth of questions from you guys—here goes.

Depending on what I’m doing, sometimes I go in to the office to work; sometimes I telecommute and work from home. Today is a work from home day, partly because I want to catch up on some query and manuscript reading. That’s easier to do at home, where I have easy access to hot chocolate and candy. Plus I can scrunch up on my couch and hang my head backward over the edge of the seat. This position sends plenty of blood to my brain, facilitating good solid literary analysis and encouraging hair growth.

7:00 a.m.—Start my work day. Check my e-mail to see if any of my authors have like, gone crazy or something over the weekend. No. Good. But I have 6 spam messages, a potential author checking on my progress in reading their manuscript, and a tirade from my daughter arguing about who was right: dooce or Kensington. Just as I’m about to hit send on my reply to both author and daughter, my internet goes down. Unplug and replug everything and messages go out. Then I take a kid to school.

8:00 a.m.—Go to open submissions file (Excel) where I track who sent what and when and all that, and I hit the Word icon instead. That’s okay, because I wrote some rejection letters over the weekend and I need to print them out and mail them anyway. However, instead of bringing up an empty document file, it brings up a file I backed up last time I used it. That’s weird. I click on the Open New icon and it brings up another copy of that same file. Again. And again. Uh-oh. Do I have a virus? Run my virus software while filing some contracts and organizing my desk. Nothing shows up. Can’t deal with this, so I’ll just ignore it.

9:00 a.m.—These aren’t the rejection letters I wrote last weekend. I think I mailed these already. Not sure. Now here’s a dilemma. Do I print and send and hope I didn’t do that already? (Note: If everyone sent a SASE, it would be easy to match them up and figure this out. Look at log. Neither of these authors sent a SASE.)

9:05 a.m.—Phone rings. Confirming an appointment later this week.

9:10 a.m.—Phone rings. An author who has been working on a new book for the past 6 years tells me they’ve decided they don’t want to finish it. They have lots of really good reasons. And lots of ideas of what they want to write instead. Whatever. Send me an e-mail.

9:30 a.m.—Leave for doctor’s appointment. The other reason I am working from home today. 🙁

11:30 a.m.—Back home. Okay, which item in this vast pile of slush do I need to look at next? Do a fast sort into “Rejections” and “Maybes”. Okay, ready to start…

11:45 a.m.—Phone rings. Another author: Where is my royalty check? Shouldn’t it have arrived by now? I really, really needed it by this weekend or… (Like I can just wave my magic wand and get it to them.) Okay, I’ll see what I can do. (Wish my mother had not ingrained courtesy and politeness so deeply into my psyche.)

Check in at the office. Checks are going out tomorrow. Get involved in some other conversations with office staff. Get sidetracked by a printing project that was supposed to be finished today and is not. Have no idea when they will be done.

That reminds me of another project I need to finish. Darn! Completely forgot about that one. Well, they aren’t on the phone yelling at me yet, so maybe I have some time.

1:45 p.m.—Author calls again: Have I found out about the royalty checks yet? Listen to financial woes. Wish I could tell them my own financial woes. Could match her toe to toe, and then some—I’ve got teenagers and kids in college and my husband is home from his job today because his car won’t start…

2:00 p.m.—Where is that reading pile? Now, where was I? Should I read first, or write more rejections? Drop my pen and bang my head on the desk picking it up. Throw pen across the room. Throw a couple of other things too, just for fun. What is wrong with me? Oh yeah, it’s way past lunch time. I tend to get cranky when my blood sugar is low.

2:45 p.m.—During my lunch break, my daughter called from the dentist’s office. She had to have a root canal this morning because she fell at work a few weeks ago and banged her mouth on the trash can. Turns out, the tooth died and is turning dark. That stress just sucked up all the sugar I had from lunch! And I’m out of candy.

3:00 p.m.—Phone rings. Another author: Do you have my press kit ready yet? And have you talked to XYZ Bookstore? Are they going to let me do a signing? And what about this conference on Saturday? (This is the first time she’s mentioned it to me) Are you going to be there? Are you going to have a booth and FEATURE ME? I try to explain that it will cost me $200 between booth rental and man hours to be at that conference and the chances of me selling more than two of her books is worse than the proverbial snowball’s. She’s mad.

3:41 p.m.—Teen-age daughter is home from school. Wants to borrow my copy of The Scarlet Letter because the school’s copy is falling apart. I have to check five bookcases before I find it.

3:45 p.m.—Pick up the packet that is on top of my stack of unread submissions, start reading.

3:47 p.m.—Phone rings. It’s the printer about that job that’s not done. What kind of paper did I want for the cover? (The same kind we’ve used the last four times we’ve had you print it!!!)

4:05 p.m.—Where was I. Oh yes, page 1, second paragraph.

4:11 p.m.—Phone rings. Another author. Proposing another book idea. Okay, let’s see…we’ve published one book by you. It’s doing okay. But I’d really like to see the other three proposals you’ve already run past me before you hit me with this fourth one. Yes, I know you’re creative. Yes, I know you have so many ideas you can’t sit still and work on any one of them. Fine. Whatever. Send me that proposal too—if you ever get it done.

4:25 p.m.—Page two, first paragraph. Good thing I read really fast. Too bad this one isn’t going to make it.

5:00 p.m.—Daughter drops by the house to show me her newly root-canalled tooth. She can see a difference between the lovely shade of off white of her still good front tooth and the lovely shade of off white of her now dead front tooth right next to it. I can’t. She turns on a light. Then another one. I still can’t see a difference. Daughter leaves to go back to college. I won’t see her again until December.

5:20 p.m.—Phone rings. Another author. Geez, I give up. Move the slush piles from my desk back to the cabinet while she’s talking. Finish filing the rest of the paperwork from earlier while she’s talking. Look at my calendar and update my To Do list while she’s talking. (If you’re wondering why I don’t just hang up, it’s because she’s my current best-seller and I’m listening to her worries about the book she’s working on now. Whatever it takes to get that next book.)

6:00 p.m.—Start writing this blog.

6:15 p.m.—Teen-age daughter walks into my office and with a dramatic sigh falls down in the doorway. She hasn’t moved in the past 15 minutes. I think she’s trying to tell me that she needs some attention. Or that she likes The Scarlet Letter almost as much as I do.

I did four posts yesterday. How did that happen? Blame it on jet lag, I guess.

So I’m taking it easy today. No big discussions. Just another contest you can enter (after you’ve entered something for mine, that is).

In last week’s free FFW Small Markets newsletter (sign up at FundsforWriters), they mentioned the following contest:

HAVE YOU ENTERED YET? FUNDSFORWRITERS ANNUAL CONTEST. 70 entries so far. Imagine that…you have several chances in 70 to win a prize. Where are you going to find odds like that? Also, this year we are surprised to see that half are paid entry fee submissions and half are no entry fees. Do the math. You have one chance in 35 to win $150? Where do you have an opportunity like that?

www.fundsforwriters.com/annualcontest.htm

(If you can’t get this link to work, copy and paste it into your URL address line.)

And while you’re there, surf around her site. It’s got lots of cool stuff on it.