Author: LDS Publisher

Almost as Billy finished pounding on it, the door opened with a jerk. (sentence structure) What Billy saw inside the house made his heart sink. (Don’t tell me. Show me what is happening, what he is seeing, how his body is reacting) In an instant (cliche) he saw a man crouched against an opposite wall, the man (a man/the man–repetitive) was pointing a weapon (what? how did he know it was a weapon?) at the open doorway. Billy shouted, “he’s got a gun” and lunged away from the doorway. (usually you lunge toward something, not away from it; also, who’s he shouting to? are there people with him?) When he (who?) dove for cover, (awkward) He crashed through the wooden porch handrail and he was unconscious before he landed in the bushes.

Critique: Need to tighten up your writing. You have some basic grammatical and punctuation errors here. You’ve told us everything. Show us.

Would I ask for more? No.

“What do you mean you’re going to California?” asked Mary Ann. Jack didn’t know what to do. He knew his family would starve during the winter if he didn’t do something. He searched for a solution but the only thing that he could think of was selling out. He knew he had failed, and he didn’t feel worthy of his wife. He began to believe all the things that his father in law had said about him. Finally, Jack settled on a plan. (plan for what? to leave his wife? to prove his father-in-law wrong? to rob a bank?)

Critique: I can’t tell what this story is–a romance? a mystery? a life-as-it-is literary piece? There’s not enough here to differentiate it from all the other stories of discontented families. Also, it’s all telling. You need to show us something.

Would I ask for more? No.

Contest Deadline:
Tonight, Friday, September 8
12:00 Midnight (Mountain)

All entries must have a time stamp at midnight or before.

I will post the last of the entries Saturday morning (I am not staying up till midnight to do it.)

Voting will continue through Monday, Sept. 11 at midnight

“You rotten little beasties!” Petal yelled, wielding her broom as a knight might swing a weapon. “Get out of my garden!” She hurried toward her garden patch, swinging the broom with vigor, but before she could get anywhere near them, the miniature ponies, each with a single horn and a pair of feathery wings, dashed into the air like a flock of multicolor magpies. “Oh, just look at the mess they’ve made!” she huffed, throwing the broom down in frustration and standing in the middle of her garden with hands on hips. The unicorns, who had settled in the nearby branches, scolded from afar. When they saw that she was not about to leave until they did, they flew away to find greener pastures, or even better, greener gardens. Petal watched them go, staying put until she was convinced they were gone, then picked up her broom and started back to the cabin. “Fat lot of good YOU are, Falco!” she bellowed at her pet, who lay nearby on the thatched roof of the house. “I should have got a dog instead!” Falco, looking much like a large lizard, lay sunning himself, wings outspread to catch the afternoon sun. The dragon merely blinked once, yawned lazily, turned his head and went back to sleep. “I give up,” Petal muttered, perturbed, “I really do.”

See comments here.

Dear LDS Publisher,

How do bookstores in the LDS market decide which titles to stock? What criteria do they use in deciding to order many copies of one title, just a few of another title and none at all of a third? How do they decide whether or not to reorder a title once it sells out? How do they make the decision as to what to display most prominently in their stores? In the case of the bigger chains, are these decisions up to the individual stores, or do ordering decisions come from the top? Thank you for your help. I love your blog.

A Naive Newbie

How do the bookstores make their ordering decisions? On the first night of the new moon, they meet at midnight in a secret clearing in the midde of the forest where they bury the latest copies of Deseret Book’s catalog and Books ‘n Things. Then on the night of the full moon, they go back and dig them up, give them a shake and order the books with pictures that aren’t smudged by the mud and dirt.

Working in a bookstore is the one job in this industry that I have never done. And it’s probably a good thing because I’d spend my entire salary on books and my family and I would be living in a cardboard box under the freeway.

However, based upon what they tell me when I call them up to beg for orders, it seems the bookstores make these decisions for several reasons:

1. Selling history. Certain authors and genres are pretty much guaranteed to sell well. They order more of those.

2. Current trends. If they see a trend developing, they’ll order to support that trend.

3. Promotions. If a book is promoted well by the publisher, they’ll buy it. For example, most bookstores will try to stock books that are being advertised in DB and BT.

4. Personal taste. If a book speaks to the buyer on a personal level, or one of their trusted employees, they will buy the book.

5. Bribery. If the publisher is offering a deeper discount, they will sometimes take a chance on a book.

Choice of what to display is based upon these same criteria. Also tie-ins to holidays or local events.

They will reorder a particular title as long as customers are walking into the store asking for it. Usually. Sometimes they intend to reorder and they forget. That’s where a good distributor comes in–to make calls to remind them to reorder.

As for the chains, as far as I know, it’s up to the individual stores. DB stores place their orders with the main office, which places the total order with us. We ship to their warehouse and they disperse them between the stores. If a title isn’t in DBs database, then the individual stores usually do not order it–although on occasion, they will make an exception for a well-promoted local book.

[Editorial Note: Since the comments trail on this post has turned into a conversation on whether or not the Confederacy existed at this point in time, rather than about the paragraph and its other literary merits, I am making the executive decision to delete the man’s title from the paragraph. For more details, see my post in the comments trail. Please disregard the deleted rank title when judging this post.]

In the black winter night, a man clung to the top of a telegraph pole while around him icy winds blew. Skeletal tree branches popped and swayed in the storm. Angry gusts grabbed at the tails of his woolen overcoat, cracking them in the darkness with the sound of a bullwhacker’s whip. The man tested the abyss for signs of approaching humans but there were none–for none dared to enter the swirling, black eddy of nature’s wrath. Tonight, he knew, Satan was awake and pushing open his mighty doors. Working a pocket key under the wire the man took a deep breath, then tapped out the message. “Lincoln en route. Assassins waiting.” Once, twice, three times he sent the encrypted message while the wind howled its protest. Would the eight assigned men succeed in killing the gangly president-elect? If Abraham Lincoln lived or died tonight, he wouldn’t hear about it over these lines. Removing a pair of wire cutters, [deleted rank title] Eli Slater leaned out into the darkness as far as he could, clipped the wires and climbed down the pole into war’s coming fury.

See comments here.

Arturo crouched in the dark sewer tunnel, wet to the skin and wondering, for the hundredth time, whether he was doing the right thing. The smell was overpowering, an unrelenting combination of sewage and decomposing fish, (I agree with the comment that asked why the sewer would smell like fish? I’ve never been in a sewer, so maybe I’m missing something…?) which literally brought tears to his eyes. In one hand he held a picture of his wife and two young daughters, taken last Christmas. His other hand drifted to his side, unconsciously feeling for the tumor that he knew was there. (New paragraph) Grimacing in pain, he (Arturo) readjusted (adujsted) the backpack on his shoulders and gathered himself. He knew what he was doing was wrong. This was insane. The five cellophane-wrapped bundles of marijuana on his back could not save him and his family. But he didn’t know what else to do. He thought about turning back. On one side of the tunnel was Mexico, his home. The other side of the tunnel was the United States, jail and free surgery. (New paragraph) “It won’t be too bad”, he tried to convince himself. “I’ll be home in a year.” (You only get one year for drug smuggling and illegal immigration? And how does he know he’ll go to jail, and not simply be deported?) He sat motionless, poised between two futures. With his heart hammering in his chest, he said a final silent prayer, not expecting an answer.

Critique: Now that’s interesting–I knew people immigrated to the US for health care, but I didn’t realize they’d try to get arrested so they could have surgery. Good sense of place. Strong sensory cues. I’m curious as to where it goes from here.

Would I ask for more? Depends on the genre. If it was suspense, maybe. If it was a conversion story, no.

Maybe, if I had known from the beginning Samantha was a ghost, I never would have entered the house on Amaranth Lane. (Good) But if I had not gone into the house I would never have experienced the next part of my life which, for now, involves telling Samatha’s story.(Weak) Sure, I know some will never want to hear it, ghosts frighten most people.(Weak) They don’t want anything to do with their dead. That’s why they bury them and walk away from the cemetery. (Strong) I was even told once it’s not natural to live with a ghost in your house. But now, after meeting Samatha, I think maybe it’s not natural to live in a ghostless house. (Good concept; rewrite the sentences)

(End your paragraph here and delete everything after this. You’re telling us too much. Let it come out more slowly. Don’t tell us what this story is going to teach us. Show us as it evolves.) So I’m going to share her story–not because it’s about a six-year-old girl who died before she wanted to, but because it’s a story about all of us who never quite know how to live while we have time. Samatha taught me that. She taught me a lot of things, including how close we really are to the dead yet we’re too frightened to open our eyes and see them. Most of all, she taught me how death can make you feel…alive.

Critique: Intriguing idea. Writing needs to be tightened up.

Would I ask for more? I’d tell you to rewrite and resubmit.

At one o’clock in the morning, Nicole Madison sped toward Park City, squinted at the yellow lines dotting the middle of the road, and tried to stay to the right of them. They kept disappearing. Hmm. Okay. It was entirely possible that she was drunk. She widened her eyes and tried to concentrate on those lines. If she could just get home, she’d go to bed and stay there as long as possible. Before she started feeling sorry for herself. Again.

Critique: I liked this one. It made the first cut. The reason it didn’t make it to the finals is I felt just a little distant from Nicole and her situation. It didn’t pull me in, but allowed me to stay at arm’s length.

Would I ask for more? Depending on the strength of the rest of the submission, I’d probably ask for a partial.

“Shut up and go to sleep,” said one of the boys as they passed by. (Why would they tell her to go to sleep? That seems out of place.) She looked like a cornered animal, ready to strike out at anything that came close to her. Denise noticed the girl because she had shared a class with her in high school. Denise thought her name was Amy. (New paragraph) Crouched on the ground with her back against a large stone, Amy had beads of sweat on her forehead. Her hair was matted and dirty, like she had been rolling in the dirt. She was crying and clutching her jacket as if it were her lifeline. (was she wearing the jacket or just holding it?) Her eyes were wide open, she was frightened by something Denise couldn’t see (sentence structure). Feeling sorry for Amy, Denise kneeled down next her to try and help. Amy turned and glared at Denise as if she were waiting for an attack. Denise carefully stretched out her arm and touched Amy’s cheek to wipe away a tear. The action was met with a shriek and a backward lunge that caused Amy to bang her head on the rock.

Critique: Watch your grammar and sentence structure. This is a little choppy. You jump from the boys, to Denise, to Amy, back to Denise, back to Amy. It didn’t feel smooth to me. You might consider changing to a first person POV with Denise. ??

Would I ask for more? No. It just didn’t speak to me. Sorry.

The young man woke with a start (cliche) and lay tense, listening, wondering what had roused him. Everything was quiet. The third story windows (where? in his room?) were closed against the chill autumn air, against the snow flurries predicted by the nurses, effectively shutting out sound. He studied the darkness beyond the lace curtains. But even if (don’t start a sentence with “but even if”) the panes were open he doubted he’d hear any noise since the hospital was perched on the mountain and so far from the red light district. (awkward sentence) Decent folk living nearby were tucked into bed at this hour. (Good, this tells us a lot.) He relaxed and moved his head slowly, very slowly, toward the new-fangled electric light spilling up the stairs. (huh? what stairs?) He was glad for the light. Working the silver mines by day meant he’d spent most of his life in darkness. Had his dreams wakened him? He couldn’t remember. How was he supposed to remember dreams of the dark?

Critique: Tighten up your sentence structure. Give us more intensity. Intriguing last sentence.

Would I ask for more? Probably not. Needs to be tighter. Needs to have a stronger hook.

“Do not pass go. Do not collect two hundred dollars.” Typing furiously, James Ralston smiled at his computer screen and continued whispering to himself. “Someone is going to jail, and someone else is finally going to get some recognition around here.” Maybe.

Critique: Hmm. There’s nothing wrong with this. It’s just too short. There is not enough information here to generate an opinion. While it may be fine as the first paragraph of a full chapter, the length is a definite disadvantage for this contest.

Would I ask for more? Depends on the strength of the query, synopsis and the other paragraphs sent with it.

Kylee pulled her knees tighter into her chest and tightened the grip of her arms around them. The cold of the cement she sat on was creeping through her worn jeans, chilling her flesh. How had she gotten herself into this mess? What was she going to do now? (Move these questions…) Cold was seeping through the worn-out tennis shoes as well. Her socks had too many holes in them to hold any of it (define “it”) out. (…here.) (New paragraph) A snow began to fall, gently drifting (be more descriptive; “gently drifting” tells us. Use the senses to show us) onto her hunched shoulders. A car pulled into the parking lot (what parking lot? tie it back to Kylee; also, if the doesn’t stop because of her, it should just pass on by), its headlights playing across the side of Kylee’s bent head. Kylee didn’t notice it. She remained in her hunched position, shivering. Where could she go? She had nothing anymore. Her car had broken down finally on the freeway several miles away and she had managed to walk this far but could go no further. This rest stop, somewhere outside of Flagstaff, Arizona, was her last stop (stop/stop–delete one).

Critique: You start well, but then it weakens. The last sentence is okay, but could be much more powerful. The paragraph does start me asking questions–What’s going on with the car? Who’s in it? Why is she running away? –and that’s good, but it’s not strong enough to keep me asking them.

Would I ask for more? Depends on the query and synopsis that came with this paragraph. How old is she? That would be key for me. If I was having a patient day and the Q & S were good, yes, I might ask for more. But if I had a whole stack of submissions to get through and it was already a frustrating day, no I might not.

I bet you thought I forgot I was commenting on contracts. No. I was just putting it off as long as I could because it’s boring to write about.

Subsidiary rights are the the rights to use/sell the work in a format other than standard print form. They can include:

• audio books (may be covered in geographical rights)
• foreign language or sales (may be covered in geographical rights)
• serialization (newspaper, magazine)
• digests or abridgments
• anthology or other collections
• licensing into greeting cards, coloring books, characters, dolls, stuffed animals, t-shirts, lunch boxes, etc.
• movies, video games, board games
• special editions for book clubs, Braille, etc.

New subsidiary rights are popping up all the time. Your publisher will probably list as many as they can think of in the initial contract offer. The reason being, they want to control the quality of all products that will be associated with your book, and also because they want to make more money. Nothing wrong with either of those.

Whether or not you let them have these rights as part of the regular contract is up to you. Some publishers absolutely want all of them. Others will negotiate. Some won’t ask for any.

What you need to look at in considering which subsidiary rights you allow them to have is:
1. How likely are they to exercise those rights?
2. How likely would it be that anyone else would want to buy these rights?

If your publisher is unlikely to option these rights themselves, you might want to keep them. Or if you don’t care about certain rights, go ahead and give them up. You’re not likely to get a better deal (as in, more money) by doing this, but your publisher may have contacts that would be difficult for you to make, and they might be able to sell the options on those rights.

If you do let your publisher have subsidiary rights, make sure your contract includes what and how and when you will be paid if they exercise and/or sell those rights. If they exercise those rights themselves, they will be covered by some sort of royalty payment. If they sell the rights to a third party, the proceeds are usually split on a percentage basis after expenses. I’ve seen everything from 80 publisher/20 author (which I would never agree to, if I were the author) to 50/50 (which is much more common).

Julia licked a mouthful of cream cheese off a toasted bagel as she read the front page of the Salt Lake Tribune. A Brachman’s bagel with extra cream cheese was what she thought about at five o’clock each morning as her alarm blared. It’s what compelled her to get out of bed and hurry into the solitary law office where she read the newspaper and watched the early morning news as she waited for her co-workers to slowly make their entrances. (This whole section slows down the story line. The information it gives us is misplaced because we don’t care about Julia and her bagel compulsion yet.) Julia put the paper down as the local news on the television caught her attention. ‘More details are coming to light about last week’s murder on the University of Utah campus. The body of the Lady Utes’ basketball player, Avery Thomas, was found last Monday afternoon in the women’s locker room. Starting power forward for the Utes, Mick Webber, was arraigned yesterday for the murder. The couple was engaged, and this is the reason many are finding this heinous crime hard to believe.’ (Needs something here–her thoughts, internal dialogue–some type of response from Julia.)

Critique: Cut the bagel obsession and get on with the action.

Would I ask for more? Not based on this one paragraph. However, in a real submission, where you had several paragraphs to entice me, Julia’s response to what she’s just heard would determine whether or not I asked for more.

Everyone is invited to participate in this contest–unpublished authors, published authors, previous contest winners. Published authors do not necessarily have an advantage here. I’ve seen brilliant stuff by first time writers and incoherent passages by authors who have several books.

One paragraph only. Multiple paragraphs will be disqualified. If you have two or three very short paragraphs that start your story, you may choose to run them all together and maybe no one will notice.

A crashing, thumping noise woke Jen Elliot from a sound sleep. Someone had broken down the front door her brand new house! (You’re telling us too much here. If she’s sound asleep and disoriented, she wouldn’t quite know what had happened.) She screamed! Couldn’t help it. Jumping up, she ran around her bed, but disoriented, fell to the floor and painfully (no) banged her knee. (Awkward sentence structure.) Reaching a hand out in the pitch darkness, she encountered the dresser, oriented herself, and crawled to the bedroom door and locked it. She flipped on her bedroom light (not a smart move; not really believable) and squinted desperately (find a different adverb) for her cell phone which she quickly (no) realized was out in the living room charging. Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Critique: Watch your adverbs (-ly words). Avoid those when possible. Too many exclamation points. Those should be treasured and given out grudgingly. Starting your book with someone breaking into your home in the middle of the night is a good idea, but you are telling us about this event. We need to be there, to see it, hear it, feel it. I like the stupid, stupid, stupid. Get more of that internal dialogue going.

Would I ask for more? No. You need more practice developing depth and putting the reader into the scene.

Note to everyone: Practice is the key. I don’t believe writing is an art. I believe it is a skill. Some of us may have more natural ability than others, but all of us improve with practice.

When you get rejected or negative feedback, don’t give up–just practice more. Mary Englebreit (illustrator) says that as a child, she traced pictures over and over again. This helped her learn the muscle coordination she needed to draw as well as she does. Writing can be improved using similar techniques.

Find a passage in a book that you really like. Type it up. Then rewrite it, inserting your characters. Write it again, inserting different adjectives and adverbs. Write it again, replacing the action in the paragraph with some of your own. Write it again, changing the dialogue to match your scene. Then compare your final paragraph with the original. Does it have the same intensity? The same feel? If not, what did you do that lessened it?

Keep practicing. Notice good writing when you read it and examine it–what makes it work? Then practice writing using that same technique. Once you’ve learned a variety of techiniques, and can recognize and understand what makes a passage great, you’ll be able to blend these techniques and styles to create something uniquely your own.

Renee pushed the piles of books, scriptures, games, and Legos to one side so that the government agent could get through (where? Need a little more sense of place) and sit down on the couch. If she’d known he were coming, she would have cleaned up. Or maybe not. Soon after her husband’s funeral, she’d reverted to her original personality of doing things when she darn well felt like them, and not on strict, German hausfrau-type schedules. Anyway, who expected the CIA to show up on their (they who? Renee?) doorstep twenty years after they’d left America? (New paragraph) Sitting down across from Agent Rossmann, Renee took a closer look at him. He resembled Bill Gates more than a CIA agent – not that she knew what a typical agent should look like. For some reason, she was tempted to offer eight cows to his mother and hope he’d morph from a geek into a movie star right before her eyes. (funny) Or did the change only come after marriage? Realizing that she had started to search his fingers for a ring, Renee lifted her eyes back to his face and waited for him to tell her why he was there.

Critique: Fill us in a little more on the surroundings.

Would I ask for more? This is hard to say because rarely do I only get to read one paragraph and usually there’s a synopsis. This one gets a qualified Maybe. If the query was good and the second and third paragraph were good or better, I might ask for a partial–especially if this is going to be a romantic suspense and the humor carries through.

Stacy’s (some type of descriptor that indicates wet) blue jeans still (delete “still”; rarely is it needed) clung to her legs around the knees. The bathroom floor was finally (delete finally) mopped and the toys put away. Now she fought angrily (don’t tell us this; show us by describing her actions)with her stupid wet pants as she tried to (passive) pick up various pieces of small clothing strewn up and down the hall. (New paragraph) “That’s it,” she thought, “I’ve got to remember to change into my junky shorts BEFORE the kids get their bath. Man, I’m never gonna…” (needs transition; drop “but suddenly”) but suddenly, a little (a whimper is little; redundant) whimper of distress caught Stacy’s ear. She stood still for a moment, then her eyes darted towards a closed bedroom door as she heard the whimpering again, coupled with a different sound — giggles. “Oh dear,” she rolled her eyes as she marched to the door. “This is not going to be good.” (If I heard whimpering and giggling, I wouldn’t roll my eyes. That’s mild exasperation. I’d be off to save whoever is whimpering, and fur would fly. Also, I need some type of cue as to what she’s going to find. Sibling teasing? Or torture?)

Critique: Watch out for passive voice and clear transitions. It’s much better to show us that she’s frustrated, angry, whatever by describing what her body is doing, rather than telling us what she is feeling.

Would I ask for more? No. But I might read a few more paragraphs.

The phone rang, shattering the silence in my apartment and waking me from a rather nice dream (“rather nice” is too weak). I groaned as I rolled over and squinted at my clock. Eight o’clock in the morning (that is not unusually early. Why is she sleeping in this late? Is there an intriguing reason? Spill it here. If not, we don’t care. Yet.) . Only two people ever called me this early and one of those was my mother (but it’s not her mother, so this is misleading). Those who knew me knew (“knew me knew”… awkward & repetitive) that this girl was not an early riser. (New paragraph) My hand scrambled around for the cell phone, my sleep-addled brain trying to remember where I had left it the night before. My fingers strayed across the vibrating object (I did a double-take here. If it’s ringing-audio-why mention vibrating-tactile? Confusing. Also, “object” is too vague.) (End sentence; delete “so”) so I snatched it up to see the (“to see” is passive; “looked at” stronger)caller I.D. Yep, my oldest sister. (This is disruptive to flow; reader is expecting it to be her mother.) It was incredibly (weak description) tempting to end the call, roll over, and go back to sleep, but I forced myself to answer the phone. It had better be a national emergency. (This last sentence is the best of the paragraph.)

Critique: This paragraph needs to be strengthened with words that speak to the senses. You have the beginnings of some humor, but you need more. I need to care about her by the end of this paragraph, and I don’t.

Waking up to the phone ringing is not a strong enough beginnning to a novel. It might work in a later chapter, but not here.

Would I ask to see more? No.

Someone suggested that they’d like the ability to post a comment about why a particular paragraph didn’t work for them. That’s a good idea. It’s always helpful to a writer to know why something worked for a reader, and why it didn’t. So feel free to share comments (respectfully) in the comments trail, as well as votes.

To have your comment count as a vote for the paragraph, clearly indicate that it is a vote, as in: I VOTE FOR THIS ONE.

Remember, you may vote for as many paragraphs as you want, but you can only vote for a particular paragraph once.

This contest is closed. Winners are announced here and here.

Check back often for information on upcoming contests.

Based upon e-mailed votes, we’re going to do a first paragraph contest.

PROMPT:
Submit a first paragraph suitable for an LDS novel. Somewhere in that paragraph there needs to be 1) a clear hint, or at least strong foreshadowing, to the genre; 2) an identification of your main character; 3) a sense of place and time; 4) a teaser to read more. There is no word limit, but too short or too long will lose you points. (This is totally subjective.)

PRIZES:
Once again, there will be two winners: Publisher’s Choice (chosen by me) and Readers Choice (chosen by you). Each first-place winner will receive a paperback copy of the LDS novel of their choice.

TO VOTE:
All paragraphs will have their own post, titled “Paragraph #1,” “Paragraph #2,” etc. To vote, click on the “comments” link at the bottom of the paragraph you like. Cast your vote (as opposed to just leaving a comment) by clearly indicating that it is a vote, as in: I VOTE FOR THIS ONE

Stupid Little Details That You Must Follow in Order to Win:
1. Send your paragraph to my e-mail address. Include your mailing address and your choice of LDS novel in your e-mail so I can mail your prize as soon as the contest ends.

2. I will post all paragraphs to this blog in the order they are received. I will NOT post the author’s name or any identifying information until the contest is over.

3. Enter as many times as you want, but send a separate e-mail for each entry. Each entry will be judged on its own merits. (That means, if one is really good and one is really bad, the bad one won’t color judgment of the good one.)

4. The contest STARTS NOW and and STOPS Friday, September 8, 2006 at midnight (MST).

5. All paragraphs will be posted by midnight on Saturday, September 9, 2006.

6. Voting STARTS NOW and STOPS Monday, September 11th. Vote by posting in the comments trail of the paragraph you like.

7. You may vote for as many paragraphs as you want, but you can only vote for a particular paragraph once. You are on the Honor Code not to post multiple anonymous votes for your favorite paragraph.

8. You may vote for yourself, but again, only once per paragraph. And just so we don’t end up with every paragraph having 1 vote, vote for a couple of others too.

9. Winners posted on Wednesday, September 13, 2006. I will post the first-place winners and two runners-up in each category. Unless you specifically request not to be indentified, the names of the winners will be posted.

10. In the case of a tie for the Readers Choice, I will put the names in a hat and draw the winner.

11. The same paragraph cannot win in both categories. I will select my winner before tallying the Readers Choice votes. If my winner is also the winner of the Readers Choice, the Readers Choice prize will go to the second place paragraph.

To send this contest info to all your writer friends, click on the little envelope at the bottom of this post. It will bring up a page that will let you e-mail the post. Or if that doesn’t work, go to the “September Contest” listed on the right of this blog. Click on “Click Here.” This post will display on its own webpage. Copy the URL (web address) line and paste it into your e-mail. Then send that link to every writer you know.

You said that your company distributes books for self-publishers. Can you explain how this works?

First, thank you so much for giving me something else to talk about! When I said I’d talk about contracts, I didn’t think far enough ahead to realize that it would mean days upon days of really dry and boring stuff, all on the same topic! I like some variety here.

If, for whatever reason–and there are lots of legit reasons–you have determined to self-publish, you will need a distributor to represent and sell your books to the LDS bookstores. Rarely will a bookstore work directly with an SP. It just costs too much in man-hours, bookkeeping, shipping, etc. Not to mention that there are a lot of poor quality SP items out there and they generally will not sell well.

If you decide to go the SP route, #1 most important rule: Get an agreement with a distributor BEFORE you print your book! They can then help you find editors, typesetters, designers and printers who are reputable and do good work for fair prices. It breaks my heart when someone sends me an SP book, and it’s been poorly edited, designed and constructed and I can’t take it because I can’t sell it. It’s even worse when I tell them it needed professional editing, or whatever, and they tell me they paid someone $2,000 to do that already–and it’s full of grammatical errors. The distributor can also help you figure your cost/return ratios, help you set a reasonable price, and prevent a whole host of mistakes that SPs often make simply from lack of experience.

(Not all distributors will hold your hand and walk you through this process because it takes a lot of time, and therefore, they will make less money. But many distributors are willing to do this because they know it will make a better product that will sell more copies and hopefully they will get a better return on their time investment on the back end. If a distributor is willing to do this, please, trust them. Listen to their advice. Give them credit for having half a brain and knowing what they are doing. If you don’t trust your distributor to guide you, go with a different distributor.)

So anyway, you need to find a distributor as early into the process as you can. When a distributor accepts your book, they then act as your representative with the bookstores–letting them know your book exists, who the customer is, taking and processing orders from the bookstores, shipping, collecting money in your behalf, etc. Their contract should outline what exactly they do, and when and how you will be paid.

The cost for a distributor varies. Some figure it based on the retail price, some on the wholesale. Some lump it all together with the wholesale discount offered to resellers and it is between 55-60% of the retail price of the book. Others will quote it at 25-30% of the wholesale price. (These are approximates and vary between companies, between titles, and depend on the reseller discount, etc. Lots of variables. For example, if they put you in a national chain or on amazon.com, then it might cost you more because the reseller discount is more.)

Some SPs think they can self-distribute for less money than they distributor is asking for. Trust me, you can’t. Even if you can get the bookstores to order directly from you, you’ll need a way to advertise and market your book, a website, a toll-free number, a merchant account, a garage full of shipping supplies, shipper accounts, and a warm body to fill all those orders. If you’re only selling a few copies of your book each week, and you do all the work yourself for free, then maybe you can do it cheaper. But not likely. In fact, highly unlikely.

One other word of caution, if you’re using a POD printer, or going with one of the online vanity presses (AuthorHouse, Publish America, etc.) your cost per book is going to be too high for you to sell it through a traditional bookstore at competitive prices, with or without a distributor. To cover all the costs and discounts, you’d have to price your book out of the market. POD is fine if you’ve got a book with highly specialized information which you plan to sell outside the traditional bookstore (ie: on your own website, at seminars, etc.). But for fiction or generalized non-fiction sold through bookstores, it does not give you the profit margins you need to be successful.

There are two basic types of rights covered in your contract: publishing and subsidiary. They should be two separate clauses in your contract.

Publishing rights cover the rights to publish your work in certain formats within a certain geographical area.

Format:
It is assumed that the book will be published in a traditional paper and ink, bound format, so this will probably not be spelled out. Your contract might list hardcover, trade or mass market bindings, but generally this is not covered in the rights section. It’s just assumed that they have the rights to all of the various paper and ink formats.

Other formats may be listed in this clause, such as e-books and audio books, or they may be listed under subsidiary rights. Either place is fine, but with the increase in popularity of these formats, they will probably be specified somewhere.

The fact that a publisher includes these formats in their rights does not necessarily mean that they will option them. It means that they have the right to option them. If it’s very important to you to have an audio format of your book, and your publisher has included that in their rights to be optioned, ask what percentage of the time they exercise this option or what conditions need to be met for them to do that. If chances are minimal that it will happen, you could try to separate that from the contract, allowing you to sell those options to someone else or exercise them yourself. But as a publisher, that might be a deal breaker for me. If I’m publishing the book, and someone else is doing an audio, and the audio is poor quality, that will damage my ability to sell the book. I, personally, will not take paper and ink, unless I also control the audio and e-book rights. So pick your battles. If this one isn’t a big deal to you, let it go.

Geographical Area:
Where will the publisher publish your book? There are several variations on geographic rights. These rights should be defined in your contract. I’ve included the most common terminology on geographic rights.

World Rights: Most publishers will ask for World Rights. This means they have the right to publish your work in every language and in every country in the world. They themselves won’t publish your title in all these areas. They will produce an English publication and sell it in the US, Canada, England, Australia and other English speaking countries. Then they will most likely sell the rights to other publishers to print the book in other languages and countries.

If you’ve got a title with the potential to be a huge seller in multiple countries, your publisher may only publish a U.S. version and sell the rights to publish in other English speaking companies–which include the rights to re-edit, redesign and retitle. (For example, JK Rowling’s 1st book is Harry Potter and The Sorceror’s Stone here in the US, but it is the Philospher’s Stone in England.)

In the LDS market, unless you are a General Authority, this is generally a moot point, as the majority of titles never make it into translation and are never published separately in other countries.

If the publisher has World Rights, you may get a percentage of the sell of those rights or you may get a standard royalty on books sold by these other companies or you may get nothing. If your publisher asks for World Rights, have them spell it out. Just in case.

World English: On a national market, there is more of a distinction between World Rights and World English, but in the LDS market, they’re pretty much the same. Even though they say they have World Rights, most publishers only option World English–which is what I described above–an English version that they sell throughout the world.

North American Rights: This is the right to publish and sell in the U.S. and Canada only. Since the LDS market rarely reaches into foreign languages and is very small outside North America, it does you no good to insist on only giving the LDS publisher North American rights. No one else would purchase the other rights separately from these, and your publisher (or distributor) generally already has an account with those few English speaking LDS bookstores in the rest of the world.

U.S. Only: This is the right to publish only in the U.S. Again, in the LDS market, this one does not give you any advantage. The only time you’d want to consider this is if you live in Canada, England or Austrailia and you have a cross-over book (appeals to both LDS and mainstream) that you want to publish and promote heavily in your own country as well as in the LDS market. But if this is the case, you’d be better off selling World Rights to a publisher in your country, and having them resell U.S. only rights to a publisher in the U.S., or even LDS rights to an LDS publisher. (I’ve never heard of this happening, but I suppose it could.) Or more likely, your publisher would just hire an LDS distributor and have them sell the original publication within this market.

Tomorrow: Subsidiary Rights