Pitch #2

Suzie Johnson, a thirty-something divorced mother of four, finds herself feeling alienated from the Church because she no longer fits the “forever family” mold, and with no desire to ever date or marry again, until the bishop gives her a blessing promising that she will marry in this life and that her new husband will “treat you like a queen, in the way Heavenly Father intends all his daughters to be treated.” Only weeks later, she finds herself trying to choose between two suitors—Alexander, a handsome, rich and also divorced Elders Quorum president in her new ward, and James, also handsome but not so rich, never married, and a non-member. How does her heart decide? (116 words)

2 thoughts on “Pitch #2”

  1. The best thing about this is it’s an older woman living with divorce. Romance novels don’t have to be the young college student or professional woman. (This is one of the reason’s I liked Shirley Bahlmann’s Walker’s Gold.)

    You lost points for predictibility–of course she’s going to end up with James. I would be interested in seeing how you overcome the non-member part of it.

    Would I ask for a partial? Probably not, based on just this. But you can use more than 3 sentences in a real query. Use that space to show me how this is not the predictible romance story.

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